Succumbing to Abdicate for Capitulation


If you hold me down

I will not flinch at your crypt touch

decapitare the remaining pieces

take us down to feral places

that unwind around gates of Hades,

at the feet of Life’s great oak.

If you hold me down

I will not shy away from the empty smile

that will not find eyes as we lie still

I know the ways of exhumation and the cold

of expectation too great to carry down the mountain

I am no Moses, just ashes to ashes

I have no mana to share with tribe

I have seen gold and grain, honey and harvest

I have slept in finest satin

paced the breadth of Taj Mahal

touched an aurora borealis

dined with kings and ministers

and yet, still be I empty

If you hold me down,

I will not shiver from graven grasp

I anticipate this embrace I have longed for,

illimitable long unbeknownst to all

mostly, myself and these hurts(rendstearsshreikingshreds)

you have always known but walked the shadow

of my steps

patient as patience can be,

this missing piece of me

has always been with you

in hands of darkened blues

If you hold me down

I willingly come

to walk the midnight paths

to find the fey gates

those ephemeral distances

always just outside of my gaze

If you do not understand this turn of phrase

then you mustn’t follow

it is not time for you.

Some of us just see the other side

prior to a natural end

once you know, there’s no return

a single way to unlock the door

taking hands of cloaked skeleton….

to just (let) Go

image courtesy of Pinterest

If you need help or need to talk to someone please reach out

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

5 thoughts on “Succumbing to Abdicate for Capitulation

  1. I anticipate this embrace I have longed for,
    illimitable long unbeknownst to all
    mostly, myself and these hurts (rendstearsshreikingshreds): Yes, it does.

    Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s a set of guidelines they go by, but honestly sometimes the difference between living and dying is having someone that will listen. Family and Friends can be too close, you know? They want to fix you, make you better. I can’t speak for everyone, but when a person is on the cusp, that isn’t what they need. My opinion and experience. I’ve had friends who walked that road and others that reached out for help.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for sharing this. I actually fell back asleep after reading this and dreamt we were having an in-depth conversation about this, but since I don’t know what you look like, you manifested as an old guy friend from my high school days. Anyway, for me it’s the opposite. I hate to say it but I would not find solace in talking to an anonymous stranger over the phone. The devil likes to taunt me with thoughts that I will die by suicide one day, and there is nothing I need more in moments where this fear overwhelms me than to know I am loved. And not just by God but by people in my life. I think a call to a hotline for me would accentuate my isolation from family/friends/community. But I am grateful to you for teaching me that it can be immensely helpful to others who think differently than I do.

        Liked by 1 person

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